walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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