I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
