Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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