I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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