Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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