she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
