He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
