Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
