Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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