she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
