Don't you send me to vm
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
