Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
