just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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