My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
