you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
