i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
