oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
