Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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