Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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