yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
