If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Dick very happy bro
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