also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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