Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize