Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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