I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
