very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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