Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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