New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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