He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
