that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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