I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
