I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
