i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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