Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
