How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
