Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
