do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
