He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
