Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
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No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
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Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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