i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
