he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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