Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize