Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
