Tell her she can't have a vagina
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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