i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
