Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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