Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
