oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
id be glad to
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize