YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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