so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
