I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
