So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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