Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
