i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
