reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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