their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
