ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
