Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
