How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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