Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
